Why do I destroy every good thing in my life? Why can I not just be happy for the moment and not think so damn much? I hate my brain. I know hate is a strong word. But I hate it. It won´t let me get a good nights sleep and it wont let me be happy. Every time something good is happening in my life my brain is here destroying it with thoughts that I would love to put in a box and throw away.

I´m always thinking and I think it starting to ruin my life. I overthink everything. Everything from what I did seven years ago to my nonexistent love life.

Why can´t I be like an normal teenage girl. Out with her friend late at night having fun. No I´m her at home in my bed alone imagining every bad thing that could possible happen. I wish I could just let go sometimes and have fun.

But that will probably never happen. I will be at home with no friends and none who cares if I´m happy or crying at midnight.