Adam Silvera you fucking rock.
This book completely blew me away. It made my mind go round and round, it made me happy and sick. It made me want to cry to grieve with Griffin and Jackson, to sympathize with Theo for his lost future and big dreams. It made me want a person like Wade in my life , a perfect example for kindness. It was an emotional roller coaster.
Going from “Today” to “History” was a unique way of telling the story. I loved “History” at the beginning because it was fun and nice and all cheesy new love and set of firsts. Also because “today” hurt like hell I constantly stopped reading out of pain. This how realistic it felt so good and so real. But while moving toward the end I like “Today” more because of how Jackson and Griffin bonded and started hating “History” more with Theo and Griffin breaking up.

If we talk about the main characters, we have four boys and none of them was like the other. Everyone had their own tone and way of doing things, even though it was Griffin who was narrating but still I didn’t get confused from all the “he” or “him. It was all drama and complicated and they all messed up. Well the regular teenage love drama but as boring as this might sound the details, their fights, their love, sex, interests, gifts, birthdays, summers, winters and vacations made it spicy and legendary. This story was all about the feels, it rocked me and this sounds a bit too much but it’s not so often that I come across a book that shocks me with all the pain and beauty that I have to stop to make sure that I am still in my own world and haven’t drifted somewhere else.
Wade is my favorite character he is just so selfless and has a pure love to Griffin. Near the end of the story when he got pissed off at Griffin when he admitted talking to Theo/ghost it was out of jealousy so I won’t even consider that a negative thing to take on him. He dealt with all Griffin/Theo drama from fights to kisses to third wheeling them. Although I know they didn’t mean to make him feel that way but it’s what happened. He endured seeing Griffin with someone else and he stayed by his side. He didn’t take chance of Theo leaving and make a move on Griffin, even when he started talking Griffin into moving on after Theo started dating Jackson it wasn’t for his own benefit he just wanted what was right for Griffin he hated to see him being put in a position he doesn’t deserve he hated seeing him treated poorly by Theo when all he wanted was to treat him right. Wade isn’t considered that main character here but still his presence made everything for Griffin a little better. I can’t forgive Griffin for toying with him at the beginning because he was angry at Theo and thought this was the best way to take revenge. I was so happy at the end to see Griffin fall in love with Wade. He deserved this, to be loved by the most person he cared about. On a side note I still think Wade deserves someone better than Griffin.
I know the pain of losing someone so dear is unbearable so just imagine your first love and boyfriend. So Griffin acting the way he did was expected but what he forgot so easily that Wade was Theo’s best friend even before Griffin, so he of course suffered the way Griffin did and moreover he had to grieve alone, he had to deal with Griffin’s asshole-ness, he had to see Jackson at Griffin’s house without explanation. And after all that he still forgave him and waited for him to sort things with Theo/ghost.
There wasn’t much details on Jackson’s personality or his life but he is sweet and caring and had to deal with all the guilt and the fact that he wasn’t able to save Theo and also was the last one to see him alive. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that he pushed Theo to cut ties with Griffin it was selfish. But even after that he helped Griffin a lot to get past the trauma of the first month.
Theo, the center of all the attention the history and the present. I was amazed by his hard work, dreams and excellence. I admire how he was always trying to make Griffin feel more secure and comfortable with his compulsions. I sympathized with his situation. Moving on, dating someone nice but still having to deal with his ex-boyfriend’s needs although he was the one who broke up with him in the first place. I blamed him for not putting an end to the game but I still understand that he missed Griffin and that he didn’t want to hurt him.
I admire you Theo and I am sorry for the people in your life for having to lose someone as awesome as you. Keep it kickin in the other side.

All in all this journey was amazing I had so much fun reading it I hope one day I return and read it again I know it isn’t anytime soon because it really hurts reading it.

Ps; I want to put a short playlist for this novel :
1. Dream on – Aerosmith
2. Wonderwall – Oasis
3. Gorgeous – X ambassadors
4. Happy with me – Holychild
5. I’ll make it up to you – Imagine Dragons
6. How does it feel – the green