You think it's easy?
You think I wanted this?
You think I asked for this?

No. It isn't

and

It is hard.

When you, out of nowhere have these negative thoughts flooding your mind and changing your mood in a split second.

"You're just one of the crowd"

"You'll never be noticed"

"He'll never look at you the way you look at him"

"They treat you all the same"

Until you lose your mood and having that feeling of 'I don't want to talk to anybody right now'

Yes we know that let us not look at the negative side and focus on then positive ones by supporting them. . . But let's face reality. As a fangirl I badly want to meet them. As normal people. And be their friend atleast?

But that is impossible. Not completely. Let's not joke around. And accept the facts that IT IS impossible. Even if we meet them. They'll just treat us as fans. Nothing more.

Those Fan and Idol relationships? If they get found out? It's either the Idol will lose his/her contract. Or break the relationship and keep on doing what they're supposed to be. Which is watching the numbers grow in their social media accounts and countless Music Videos they make. Watching the rise grow.

I may be talking like I'm losing my mind. But I just want people to know that being a fangirl IS NOT EASY. I know that we experience those 'negative questions' keeps on popping up from time to time.

I may be what? some people call 'over reacting'?

Come on people.

Well I can't blame them and I don't care.

The purpose of this is that. I just want to remind us all. I'm not cutting the string or loosing your grip from FANGIRLING or FANBOYING over your idols. It's just that we just always need to be reminded that. .

As supporters of them. We should support them as hard as we can. And be a reason or BE one of their reasons to keep on motivating them to do their best and that we are here as fans to support them in everything they do.

And for them. Well their main reason in doing their thing. Is they enjoy it. They love it. They're doing this for US and their love ones. They may be tired from practices, interviews, concerts, issues they face and people make, etc... Just by supporting them can be really a big thing for them.

So I hope that this blabbing of mine can open a new door in your mind in realizing things. AGAIN this is not a reason for you to be loosening your grip from your idol or cutting the string. It's just for realizing. And for me to just type my inner thoughts.

-Just me : V