It may seem crazy that every time I hear this song I think about you.
I think about the meaning behind it. If you wanted to tell me something this night but didn’t have the guts, so instead you told me to listen to this song.
I think about your words that meant so much to me. The ones I memorized and never forgot, because they made my heart beat as fast as nothing else could.
I think about the fact that I still think about you after all this time, even when you probably forgot me already.
I think about your smile, your fucking beautiful big blue eyes I wish I could look into right now.
I think about all the nice words you said to me, all the right words and wonder if I was the only girl that heard them from you.
I think about this longing feeling I still get when I mention you or see something that reminds me of you, even if i shouldn’t feel this way.
I think about this strange feeling I got when I was in this bar with a different boy. For a second it felt like he was you and you seemed so close, but the realization came as fast as the empty feeling.
I wonder if you ever think of me when you hear this particular song we shared and both love that goes ‘Whiskey and wine, night after night, you haunt me’. I still remember the night you told me that you can’t stop listening to it and how happy it made me.
I wonder if you ever regret that you missed the chance to write me a message or call me.
I’ll never forget the sound of your perfect voice and your audio recording I heard over and over again, like a million times. You told me that you almost forgot how beautiful and calming my voice sounds, that you could listen to it forever, and I couldn’t stop listening to this 19 seconds, that made me smile so freaking bright.
I wonder if I’m overanalyzing every word you said. If I’m holding on to this idea of you i created in my mind, not the real you. It kind of hurts to think about it, because it’s easier to pretend that you meant all of them in this romantic-2 a.m.-way.
It really hurts to think that I never was a special someone to you and that this feeling I had and still have about you is just one sided.
I’ll never understand what you did or what you do that I can’t let go of you. I just can’t. And I always hope that one day we’ll meet again and you will recognize me and we’ll talk about everything and nothing and you’ll crack your smooth jokes and we’ll kiss. Finally.
But maybe this will never happen and I’m just creating unrealistic Szenarios that will never become real.

My biggest fear is that I’ll never find someone like you. That I’ll never find someone I feel this way for, like I do when I think of you. That I’ll never let go of you and you’ll always stay on my mind. That I’ll lie awake in the middle of the night wondering what you did to me that made me so addicted to you. I can’t even explain why I’m feeling this way.
You addictive piece of shit.

- H