On August 31, 2017, I died. Consumed by pills. Poisoned. I eliminated myself as a way to give you happiness. I became a ghost. Walking the Earth without feeling my steps. I watched you celebrate. I watched you smile and laugh with one another because I was gone. Your fake happiness became real happiness. I saw you high-fifing your best friends after you learned I had taken my life. Your anonymous messages motivated me. You were too much of a coward to use your screen name, so you sent me the messages as unknowns. It's what you wanted. It's what you hoped. You wanted me dead, because it showed in your messages. I walk the Earth not feeling, but seeing everything. I know. I always know.

"Kill yourself," you said.

"You deserve to die," you said.

You were right.

Because I did.

I did what you asked. Now that I am gone, you have rejoiced. The weight of the world has lifted from your shoulders. I understand. All I wanted was for the rest of you to be happy. It was never about me. You never cared, and that's okay. It was your decision to make.

Image removed

Your fandom was never nice to anyone outside of your circle. I am proof. I always hated Rose Tyler because she was so popular, but your fandom just made her even more so. You favored her above all others. She was the Queen of Doctor Who. Oh, yeah. Everyone bow down to Rose Tyler. The woman is a saint. I see you rejoicing. I see your reaction. You hated me because I tried to bring the other characters into the spotlight. You hated me because I liked them. I understand. You are entitled to your opinion. I know you won't care if I say this, but it's your opinion that caused me to leave Earth.

suicide and sad image

If only at least one person would have stopped this, but as I said, you never cared. Had you cared, you never would have sent those messages. But because you did...now I am gone. You have defined your fandom beautifully.

depression, deep, and hurt image