I want to restart all of this from the beggining. Turn the page. I had never ever felling myself so broken and empty. Honestle this period of time have changed most of my views. but my statement.. At the same time you want nothing and all. But the most important thing is that you won't and can't endure it more. You want to delate all pages,refresn playlists, clean notebook from unneeded numbers and change the sim-card. You want to quit all down and go as far as possible. Because of you, you can't be where you are more. You want to escape from reality. You don't want to go to home or your favourite cafe of park - nowhere. You don't want this people more, because you are fed up with all this freack words, stupid actions and meaningless excuses. You want to cross them all once and for all. To throw your past out and for a moment become only human from crowd, to be someone unknown for everyone with only one momemt in your hands. And this moment right now.
Fell myself like someone took me inside out and shook out everything that was in. At the same time you need nothing but you also have nothing. And now you are ready to restart from the beggining, change all your life for an instant. You are ready to forget all your acquaintances, way to home, native town. this society. You are ready to head out, take your documents and some money for rainy day and go to place where you can start from scratch.
Maybe its too stupid, someone called this recklessness. But I think that this solutions are the main in your life, they are build your life. All the most foolish your actions are make up what you live for. Maybe it is wrong. But I don' want this more. I don't want to live at the place, from which I feel nauseous, talk with great amount of people no one of which I can't tell about my real fellings.
I feel every cell that I'm at wrong place.All of this should be another one. Something go wrong. But what can I do? What ordinary girl can do with felling like that? Nithing, right. Till your life don't depend only on yourself. you can do nothing. Of course, I mean depend on people with accomadation or food. You always have freedom of actions but do not overestimate your abillities.
So how to do? Just quit everything, just run away and come what may