( so many typos but lmao its ok) so this is gonna be more of like a diary i guess. lmao. so back in november of 2016 i met this guy. we are in band together, hes a year older than me, and he added me on snapchat. i thought he was cute back in july but since he was a trumpet and i was on color guard we never talked because we never saw each other and i was new to the school anyway. so anyway, in november we snapchatted and then on novemeber 21 he facetimed me. 6 hours. six. whole. hours. we had just met. and lemme just say, i fell. so hard. i told everyone. i had the biggest crush and so many deep feelings for him. january rolls around and we are talking and everything is going amazing. february 3rd we had a band trip and it was like 3 hours and we sat next to each other. oh my gosh he was so cute and sweet. so then the next day we head back home and he tells me about this girl. she basically was "in love" with him and they had been best friends for YEARS. so i couldnt compete with her. anyway, he mentions her and says he blocked her, he didnt wanna be friends with someone that didnt support me and him. i felt sorry because i hate that he had to lose her, but he chose me. that night, he chose me. so that whole month, every saturday he came over and it was just us. better than ever, he was the one. then march came around....oh how terrible. she came back. he let her back in. he chose her. he was spending his days with her. only her. he was so distant with me. i had later found out it was because he was with her. he left me hanging. so the day before spring break i told him i couldnt do it if she was involoved. if he was going to let her manioulate him, i couldnt. he ended it then. didnt talk to me and said to me "we cant be together if you want me to choose you over her" AT SCHOOL. i cried everyday at school in march, spring break, april, may, june...july..... but we will get there. so anyway he broke my heart and it was the worst spring break i had ever had. so then when i get back from my trip he asks to see me, and my stupid ass said sure. he came over on a WEDNESDAY. he aplogized and said she would no longer be a problem for us. i believed him. so then thursday we texted and we were fine. on friday im with my friends (ex friends now but thats another story) so we go see beauty and the beast. i text him and say that i was at the movies and that i loved him and would talk to him later. he replied with "okay" right as he walked in the theater. my heart shattered. he was with her. he knew i was there and didnt even say hello? didnt care that i couldnt pay attention to the movie because him and this girl were the star of the show? broken. my heart was absoultely broken. thats just one of the hells he put me through. i took him back. april comes. on and off everyday. may comes. off and on until may 6th. hes with his friends and i ask him something and he doesnt reply. i later that night texted him something bitchy and said "youre with your friends, why wouldnt you text me back" sarcastic and shit. that night, he blocked me on everything. i couldnt reach him. the next day i snapchatted one of the friends he was with and asked if he had also blocked imessage. he didnt but he continued texting me on his friends snapchat. fuck theres so many details im leaving out but just these are the basics but just know that him and this girl were on and off as friends all the time and were the shittitest people together. he would snapchat her on his friends snapchat like he did me. ANYWAY so he sent me the "f u" paragraph. told me to f myslef and so much more. three days later he apologized. i took him back. then may 21, i called him and we were over. officially. and then june came around, he had a huge band event he was apart of, found a girl, kissed her, left her. then got with the girl. theyre together. but thats not it.....last weekend was my birthday and he textd me and since then we have been talking...sitting at lunch togethter and open up now. every day since we have facetimed and slept otp. we miss each other and he loves me and i love and miss him. hes ending it with the girl because he realized that losing me was his biggest regret. she doesnt make him happy. he wants me and is getting rid of her. and im so in love with him. no one knows except two people. i dont know how to tell my parents, they hate him, they have every right to. but i swear something is different. i know this isn't just me being stupid and weak, something about him is different.

edit: this was posted september 4, 2017. its currently june 29, 2019 and i am in the most healthy relationship an almost 17 year old girl can be in. (not with this guy btw) i was naive, sick, and hurting. i cant bring myself to read this but the amount of love this got is so precious to me...thank you for carin, im much better without him now! <3