“Cinderella did not ask for a prince, she asked for a night off and a dress.”

I asked for the same last Saturday night. Yet unlike any other fairy tale, my prince did not only have eyes for me. More like anything but.

The guy that stood me up for our date was at the same bar I was at last Saturday night. It was still relatively early when me and my friends went to the bar to get a drink and there he was, in all his handsome glory.

So like any 21st century modern woman would do, I marched up to him and asked him whatever the hell was wrong with him. He laughed sheepishly and said: “I’ll explain later, I have to go somewhere.”

Then he turned around, walked up to a couple of girls his friend was talking to, introduced himself and started flirting.

Great.

As if that weren’t enough, we crossed paths again a couple of hours later in the club. He was totally hammered when he came up to me. Asking me questions like why I never texted him back, that we really had to have our date and that he had been texting me every hour of every day for the past week. All while with that stupid mischievous smile on his face.

Asshole.

So I did the only thing I could think of, I hit him on the head.
Then he said: “But maybe my phone was just broken”.

And my cousin is Queen of England.

I asked him if his phone had fallen on his head to which he only laughed.

Then he pulled me on the dance floor only to leave me alone for the next thing with boobs that came along.

Needless to say I attract assholes with a capital A.

It is going to be even more interesting when we have to work together again behind the bar when the soccer season starts in a couple of weeks.

I’ll be sure to make it difficult for him.

It is not easy to find prince charming. Then again, there are enough pompous assholes in fairy tales. You have to kiss a couple of frogs before one turns into a prince.

Then again, my cat-lady in the making status attracts enough drama as it is.

XO

Your frog-kissing cat-lady in the making