I´m done.
I don’t know why I kept doing this.
I'm making a fool of myself.
Every time I agree to do this kind of things because I think ¨oh I know this is going to turn out different¨ I end up getting hurt.
But this time, I don’t know why but I thought he was ¨the one¨, and it’s so silly right? Because there´s no such a thing as ¨the one¨ I know that now.
I remember the first thing he said to me: ¨ I look at your eyes and I know what you are thinking¨
We were at the bar.
I was really confused, but I thought it was original and in a way, it made me feel special and it made me see a future with him.
But probably he says that to every girl he meets.
And I feel stupid for thinking he felt the same way.
But I guess it’s true that all guys are the same.
I’m 34 years old and I´m scared.
I feel like I´m wasting my life.
Time goes by so fast.
I feel terrified, I don’t want to die alone. I want to have kids and a family.
Instead I’m alone in a restaurant in Paris, “the city of love”, at 11pm on a Saturday night, drinking coffee because drinking red wine in this situation, being stood up, is such a cliché.
Meanwhile I look around and see all this happy couples laughing and planning their perfect lives. They are probably looking at me with shame, wondering why I am still here.
But at this point I don’t even care.
They don’t know that I have been through this so many times that I’m used to it.
(Looks at her clock)
I have been waiting for him for more than an hour now. And you know the senseless part? You´ll probably think I´m crazy but, I still have hope that he will appear through that door.
And I’m aware that I am being stupid and pathetic for waiting for someone who is definitely not coming.
But what else can I do? Do I have another choice? If I quit now, if I leave this restaurant now throught that door. I'm afraid to give up in love forever.