I think she is caught between who she is and who she wants to be.

Hi everyone. Today is sunday.
Tomorrow is first day of school. I am exciting because this year i am sophomore and kinda scared of my classmates because what if something happend over summer and the situation in class will be different.

Image by Raven カトア
Photo by @Harummi

So i deleted last article because i think that it was not good enough and if you read it you will see some same stuff from the last article.

Today i will write some stuff about my social problems.

I have problems to talk in big group of people. Usually i am the quiet one and talk sometimes but usually i just don't. This is not big problem you know but it kills me inside cause i feel like i am not normal.

For example my BFF she can talk to everyone and when i am with her and her friends i just follow them around and listen to them. And when i go home i feel horrible because why can't i be like her and have enough braveness to talk in groups.
disorder, quotes, and sayings image

I can talk to one or two person at same time but i am in constant fear what if i say something wrong and they will judge me or laugh straight to my face. And when in room full of people or when i am out and i am walking pass people i am scared what if i don't look good enough or when i wear something and i am scared that it is not good enough and i feel bad. And i know it is all in my head but i can't stop. I feel that i am always the one who ruins everything.

Temporarily removed

I was in depression and it was really hard period for me, i remember that i hated myself so much and i was imagine that i died and that nobody cares and that their lives are so much better without me. I didn't tell anybody what i was going through because i didn't have friends and i didn't tell my parents because they had so many problems with money and they still have.

depressed, life, and depression image

But i was stronger and i am better now but still i am little depressed and have those times when i am in dark place again when i think i am not good enough and that nobody really likes me. But i don't want to go throw that time again. So i try to be positive. It's hard because i am not the fit or skinny one. I am fat girl. And i am working on it not just to lose weight but to be healthy girl and be happy and be more positive and to love myself and be confident.

quotes, better, and inspiration image

The real problem i am fighting everyday is who am i really?
I have feeling that i don't know who i am, what is my thing.

?, am, and be image

And the last thing i will write today is that i have "friends" in school and i can talk to them because i have to talk to them i see them everyday and we have all classes together. And it is easier to talk to them instead some group of stranger.

quotes, life, and future image
This is my inspiration to enjoy life right now

This is really long article so i hope it is good and that you will understand me. Thank you for having some time for reading this.
I will try to post article every wednesday and sunday.
P.S. this was really hard cause i am scared of sharing this

That is all from me
I hope you will have a great day
Love you, guys
<Gabriela>