Sometimes I feel like the whole world is against me. I hate this feeling, but i do not know how to get rid of it. I envy people who have a happy life, and those who are genuinely happy, though I'm not sure if anyone is genuinely happy. How do I be happy? How do I learn to love who I am? How do I learn from my mistakes? I have this feeling inside of me that wont go away, its eating me alive. It's always there hiding waiting to come back and destroy what happiness is left inside my mind. This feeling makes my eyes water, it makes my heart feel heavy. I did not know a feeling could do that. I fear that I might leave the earth with this feeling. I am never truly happy, but i am always truly sad and that angers me. Why am I like this? Why did all the bad things happen to me? Who decides what bad things happen to people? Is there someone who decides, if so I want to meet them, I want to scream at them, I want to ask them why me?

My mind is like a tunnel. It's very dark in my mind, but on some days I get to see the light, I get to feel a little bit of happiness shining through. I can see the end of the tunnel where the real light shines, where all the happiness lives, but every time I get closer It furthers itself away from me. Can someone please tell me how to get there? I fear i might never get there in time, and I will have to leave in darkness.