I like to write my feelings when I feel sad or lonely. Don't take it to serious. Hope you like it.

It sucks.. being where it all begon. Asking me, "your friend", for advice. While I love you aswell. I was always scared to admit and maybe that is the reason that we are back at zero.

The thought of you talking to her the way you talked to me. How did you meet? Did you make the same jokes and used the same pick up lines as you did to me? Do you feel as much for her as you did for me? Or even more?

You said you were scared to make the first move, after not talking for a while.. You didn't take a chance. You left me.. You replaced me! I thought of you EVERY DAY. I had this fucked up feeling that I left you behind, just like that, but it seems you have moved on. I can't blame you. I started all of this. But still deep inside i though it would never end. Your love for me was so strong or maybe that is what I thought or did wanna think.

I am sorry and no I don't apologize to you but to myself, For hurting myself again. For thinking about other people. Being scared to hurt them but at the end hurt myself. Being the one and only with a big scare while the other ones moved on.

I still don't and I guess I never will understand why you talked to me like that again. Like nothing happened. Yes, there were some weird things but you talked to me about the past. The memories we had, the pictures and drawings that we sended each other. You told me how much you loved and adored me. WHY?! So you could make me feel the same at he end? well, luckey you. It worked. I only hope you won't feel fucked up afterwards like me but i am sure you won't cause I am the only stupid human on this planet that thinks and cares to much.

like I said... Love is a bitch..