okay so its killing me and ive gotta know
are we anything?
are we ever going to be anything?
do you want us to be anything?
because i dont feel like you do
and i feel like ive just been a hassle
because i thought maybe we were going somewhere good and then i went and fucked up by getting drunk and grounded and even though i apologised and you said it was okay i dont think it is because i havent seen you since
and its not like i havent made an effort
i asked whether you wanted to catch up more than once or twice and yeah you said yes but nothing more and nothing less
and you never made an effort to call or to text and when you do it doesn't seem like you really care
the worst part about it is that im pretty sure it was my fault
it was wasnt it? it was my fault?
sure it was
it would easier for you if it was, woudlnt it? to play the blame game? well i guess maybe it is well deserved
i did fuck up
not you
but im not sure what else i can honestly do
i feel like the balls in your park so if you dont like me or your not interested or whatever it is just let me know because i dont think i can handle the uncertainty or looking completely stupid whenever someone says your name
because i feel so stupid right now
i had a good chance with a good guy and then fucked it right up a week later
but if youre wondering the same thing as me and you dont really know what happened to us or im just getting paranoid and going crazy then i guess ill tell you
i like you
like not a lot
i wont be heartbroken if you say youre not interested
i think what i mean is i have the potential to really like you
and i want to really like you
i enjoy your company and i like your personality
i want to see you every week and i want to share inside jokes with you and i want us to become best friends
(but thats nothing special about you
i think im just lonely and i like the idea of anyone paying me the slightest part of attention , not you)
but for now
i just dont want us to turn into nothing
i dont want us to act like strangers
but if your not interested its fine
i wont be angry
im not trying to blame you or make you feel bad
because i know its not you fault
im an asshole sometimes
i am simply wondering how feel about me
how do you feel about me?
so if you do like me
please let me know because
i like you too