Waking up to darkness to hell the whole world is different it's ugly now and i don't want to see it i don't want to be here anymore to see more people 6 feet under. The only over colour I see is red. Deep dark blood red. Like my heart they have stanind the people I want to leave behind. There is no time for trying it's now cause I don't see no tomorrow. It's my life so why do you think it's all about you when I want to see my insides and feel just a little better you tell me not to lose my firght but when did life became war? If I was to show you my nightmars the songs that help me say no then maybe then you would understand why I'm the only one I talk about. Cause you have nothing to say. The only thing I know is the end and that it's coming it's coming so soon. I know the secound I leave you'll be happy less stressed better off that's all iv'e ever wanted was to be enough, enough for you but i've never have been and i never well be. I'll be my own Queen and make my own happy ever after. It's alright to tell me what you think but don't you dare think it's going to change anything. I have bruned out but only beacuse I've truned to water. So when you see my Friend's tell them I say hey not good-bye. I'm starting to be honest to myself. Walking alone on this road of music falled with broken keys. under the ground is a place for all of use it's all just a matter of time. I have everything but a blade that cuts like the emptyness i'm feeling. So when you see them tell them that my ship went down but only becuase at chose to hit that iceburg. Tell the one's that never were my friends that they were my Therapy. I get at you didn't like me cuase you're friends didn't or maybe that's just what i would like to believe. read this and know that i was happy for the frist time in years or as what I remember was happnest speaking my mind is the only thing i want to do well secound because lets be honest. Eveyone was a audience and I was never close to drawing anyone in to my movie the film of my mind. my silver mind. I'm not wanting you to come with me I'm not taking you down how could you when I have no heart and all you are is pure soul. If you want to know why I'm doing this it's really easy I'm killing you killed me. Myself. I've never been worthy of your attention and I'm sick of telling myself the same story. I go to sleep with the same dream and wake up to the ever ending nightmare that over comes me or maybe this is just who i'am well not for soon anyways. Don't look for me after this with pail skin and pills so many pills. This note is more than my body ever showed anyways. becuase it's all the small things that have made this happen tonight. Don't carry me home or watch my back as you throw your knifes that i gave you after i said I'd try. I don't know why at is tonight but yet I know at has to be. Iv'e been trying to remmeber this book you had read to me but i'm at the end and all the words have come to dust.