It's funny sometimes I feel like my mother is my best friend, someone I can tell everything too and who will still love me. But, sometimes I feel like the relationship between us two is so strained, that I'm looking at stranger who doesn't know me. My mother told me, that she and her dad talked everyday from the day she was born, either in person or by the phone. Every day they talked, about life just general trivial things. The day he died they didn't speak the first day they didn't speak with each other was the day she realise she never would be able to speak to him again. She would never be able to phone him and talk about their days. Tell each other I love you, hug each other. She would never be able to ask him for advice and he wouldn't be there to soothe her. She lost the person who was there from beginning. I look at my relationship with my mother and I envy the one she had with her father. Their bond with each other. I want that with my mother. I want to speak everyday no matter what. I want to know she won't be disappoint in me and that she will make me feel like everything will be ok like her father did for her. But that won't happened I'm too cold for her, I don't cry for her to comfort me I don't expect her to fix everything for me. My father brought me up to be strong, to fight for myself in this world, to be the best I can be, to not expect someone to be there everyday. It wasn't till I was writing this that I realise my mother has the same relationship she had with her father that she has with my brother. I now understand why I always been jealous of my brother because he not alone in this world he has my mother.