I have a question.

What things truly hold you back from doing the things you want to?
There could be a lot on answers for this,... but I have many dreams. I dream of colors and paint splatters twisting and turning around me, letting me create a whole world dedicated to how I view the whole world. Painter. Wait... the beautiful serene soft colors of teal, pink and yellow change to a rustic dusty white, a dull dirty color. Paint fumes catch in my throat, I realize it's not the smell of paint at all. It's the stench of death and a metallic sharpness stings my eyes. I open my eyes and I realize I'm lying on a table... no wait, I'm standing above someone else lying on the table. Silly me. Pathologist....? The scent of blood and death is growing stronger and stronger. "Water." "Help." "Dying." The ear piercing, bone rattling shots loud in my head. Moans and screams of the weak around me call constantly for help. They want water. They need my help. They want their mothers. Their wives. Husbands. Gunshots and cannons can be heard off through the distance, my face is smudged with mixed dirt and blood. What is this feeling? Shame and guilt and the feeling of failure spreads through my body, my face growing hot... why is it raining inside..? Oh.. no wait of course. It's my own tears. The dream of either being able to save a life... or being incapable of not saving a life... Army Doctor?

What holds you back? Message me if you don't understand or have questions, I wanna hear what holds you back.