Why can I never
hear anyone else say
that he or she loves someone
else without being jealous
and feel "not enough or "forgotten"?
its so damn hard.

My darling,

You are only human,
and you are allowed to make mistakes.
You are allowed to fall apart sometimes.
You are allowed to hurt an feel the pain too much.
You are allowed to ache and get jealous.

Be easy on yourself, and let yourself grow.
Let yourself learn.
Let yourself be.

She's stuck between
who she is,
who she wants to be,
and who she would be.

Jealousy kills me:
it kills me to see other girls appearance
it kills me to think that they are better than me
it kills me to see a healthy relationships
it kills me to see everyone achieving their dreams
it kills me to know that no guy likes me or has a crush on me
it kills me that no one tells me how good or great I look when I wear the prettiest clothes
Everything kills me.

I always see pics of models and girls until I saw a girl with short hair and I thought it looked cute so I decided to cut it at the moment I felt great it felt good cause I thought it would be great for my self esteem. Until one day I started to see girls with beautiful long hair and my mom started telling me that girls look more beautiful with long hair in that moment I felt sad again my self esteem started to get low again I regretted cutting my hair so I started to buy products for my hair and started to let my hair grow.

I really feel very insecure about my body right now i'm chubby I really hate being chubby it kills me every time I see a girl with a flat stomach its just gets me I sometimes think that's why no guy likes me. I wanted to start going to the gym but my mom don't want cause we don't have the money to pay for it so i just stay chubby.

I really hate seeing healthy relationships that is the most thing i hate and get jealous of and its because i'm in need for love i feel so alone right now at this point of my life. And its because I've had three relationships and the three of them just went fatal my heart has been broken a million times and i admit i hate the three of them so much and i don't care to say i just do. I'm tired of me caressing myself at night thinking that is some guy i love i know it's just crazy i just need someone by my side that's all.