I remember this girl who was afraid of everything and very conscious of everything. She spent years in this plastic and transparent box where she would pretend to do homework , but actually would be fully overwhelmed by thoughts her head couldn't take. She always questioned herself in terms of would she ever make a friend? She would ask herself: Am i normal? Am i socially capable to live? Why am i afraid?
You might imagine that the girl was me. There was a point in my life were i wasn't living. The only thing i remember feeling was utter numbness. The world was completely moving but i wasn't. I felt invisible. It is completely crazy because some people can't make a photographic idea of me living in that condition.
I developed social anxiety ; something i wish 14 year-old -me would've known. This phenomenon completely obstructed me. My whole self-perspective was completely shattered. All i could think and feel was terror .
Everything changed when i went to another school. I don't mean that because i changed schools everything became better . Everything became better because i changed my mindset; i changed myself(for good). If you keep having that negative self-esteem, horrible perspective of the world , you will never get over it. I didn't make friends right away. My first year in the new school wasn't that easy either but there was something different that made that year better ; i had hope , i was optimistic, i was thankful. The year after that , out of nowhere i started having better conversations and eventually had friends. I know this isn't close to easy but it is certainly possible . If i could, why wouldn't you? Just know that little by little you can overcome it ; you first have to change that pity- party and start living life the most optimistic way possible. I know this is not a new quote but i couldn't find one as true as this one:"You only live once." Don't waste your life based on irrelevant fear , rise above it and become the wonderful person i know you are.
