"A daughter should not have to beg her father to have a relationship" - rupi kaur.
The thing is, I don't want to have a relationship with my father, I'm perfectly fine saying a few words to him per week and not really seeing him. I don't know, I've never felt close to him. I love when he is not home, I think it's the same with my mom. I can hear how her voice changes when she's talking on the phone with him. No happiness, no enthusiasm, absolutey no feelings in her voice, just coldness. I am not comfortable around him, I can never be myself, I become very quiet, I think because of that I am shy around other men, it all comes from the family.