I did it. I really did. I know I shouldn't, but I did it anyways. I actually don't know why, but I know it was wrong.
It's really hard when you try new things but you're really afraid of what they can cause to you, or even of someone discovering what you did. Especially at this age. I did it and I liked it! This should be enough. But it isn't. The fear catches me, all te time. I may need help. But I really don't know. I don't even know if I did it thinking of the consequences or if I precipitated myself. And I don't know if I'm supposed to feel this guilty for discovering something new... Maybe I'm a real fucking mess.