I am completely aware of my strong suits of talking to someone I am emotionally and sexually attracted to. I HAVE NONE and I am going to work on that. At school I met a guy that was automatically attracted to. Which I know it was only Day 3 but something about him made me feel happy. I cannot talk to him but sometimes I wave at him if I see him in the halls. I have him in my English and Biology class. He's wicked smart and likes peanut butter of all things. He's Kind. Not a jackass like all the others, but something tells me that I should be careful because history repeats itself and I cannot go through the emotional shit that I went through in 8th grade. I am finally allowed to date and I am so excited to give someone undivided attention. Love them and adore them and admire everything about them down to the way they smile. I really want it to be this guy and I just don't want to lose a part of me if I don't like last time. Love never goes my way no matter how hard I try. I once tried to change myself and my morals to get it. BIG MISTAKE. I just want to be able to love someone unconditionally and know that the feeling is mutual. But I have 4 whole years of High School. Who the hell knows whats gonna happen. I sure as hell don't. But, I am dying to find out if my quest for love will succeed. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.