Chapter 1: Intuitoin

I tried to make a home out of you.
But doors lead to trap doors. A stairway leads to nothing. Unknown women wander the hallways at night.
Where do you go when you go quiet? You reminde me of my father, a magician, able to exist in to places at once. In tradicion of men of my blood you come home at 3 a.m. and lie to me.
What are you hiding?
The past and the future merge to meet us here
What luck, what a f*cking curse!
beyoncé, queen bey, and beyonce knowles carter image

Chapter 2: Denial

I tried to change, closed my mouth more, tried to be soft, prettier, less awake. Fasted for sixty days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex. Slowly did not speak another word. In that time my hair grew pas my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated into the basement...
I whipped my own back and ask for domination at your feet. I throw myself in a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine....
But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know
Are you cheating on me?
beyoncé, yellow, and dress image

Chapter 3: Anger

If this what you truly want, I can wear her skin over mine, her hair over mine, her hands as gloves, her teeth as confetti, her scalp a cao, her sternummy bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph, all three of us, immortalized.
You and your perfect girl...
Why can't you see me?
Everyone else can.
Image by karrinnnkkkka

Chapter 4: Apathy

So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you've killed me?
Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children both livin and dead. Rest in piece my true love, who I took for granted, most bomb p*ssy, who because of me sleep evaded.
Her shroud is loneliness, her God is listening. Her heaven would be a love without betrayal.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to side chicks.
Image by extrairis

Chapter 5: Emptiness

She sleeps all day, dreams of you in both worlds...
Grief, sedated by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman,
"I_ love you so much, wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in. "
Sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth she'd whisper
"Oh my God"
That too is a form of worship.Her hips grind. Pestle and water, cinnamon and gloves. Whenever he pulls out, lost.
Dear moon, we blame you for floods, for the flush of blood, for men that are also wolves, we blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.
Image by karrinnnkkkka

Chapter 6: Accountability

Mother, dearest, let me inherit the Earth.
Teach me how to make him beg.
Let me make up for the years he made you wait. Did he bend your reflection? Did he make you forget your own name? Did he convince you he was a god? Did you get on your knees daily? Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his hand? Am I talking about your husband or your father?
lemonade, 6 inch, and beyoncé image

Chapter 7: Reformation

He bathes me until I forget their names and faces. I ask him to look me in the eyes when I come... home.
Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it's not possible for someone like you.
But you are the love of my life. Love of my life, the love of my life, the love of my life
Image by SLAYBEY

Chapter 8: Forgiveness

Baptize me.
Now that reconciliation is possible, if we're gonna heal, let it be glorious.
One thousand girls raise their arms.
Do you remember being born? Are you thankful? Are the hips that cracked, the deep velvet of your mother, and her mother, and her mother?
There is a curse that will be broken.
jay, queen bey, and bey and jay image

Chapter 9: Resurrection

It's time to listen, it's time to fight.
Mature image

Chapter 10: Hope

The nail technician pushes my cuticles back, turns my hand over. Stretches the skin on my palm and says,
"I see your daughters, and their daughters."
That night in a dream the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. We leave like searchers curling on the side of the bath.
I wake as the second girl crawls up headfirst up my throat, a flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.
Image by third person

Chapter 11: Redemption

My grandma said, nothing real can be threatened.
rue love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption and my torturer became my remedy. So we're gonna heal, we're gonna start again.
You've brought the orchestra, synchronized swimmers, you are the magician. Pull me back together again the way you cut me in half. Make the woman in doubt disappear. Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk.
Knot after knot after knot.
The audience applauds but we can't hear them.
lemonade, beyoncé, and queen b image