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Something happened to me recently.

I got ghosted.

I know, it sounds like a thing that everyone experiences at some point of their lives. No big deal.
Except for the fact that for the first time in a long long time I thought I had stumbled across the right guy.

Man it hurts. It's like a punch to your face when you least expect it.

Just a little background... I met this guy named Jack on tinder. We started talking and I noticed quite quickly how we had similar personalities, same kind of humor and it seemed all in all that we would get along pretty well.

One night we were both going out, and I kind of suggested that maybe we would go to the same bar. He had change of plans and we didn't end up in the same bar after all.
He stopped talking to me.

At this point I was sooo confused. We hadn't even met, but I was so sure that if we had it would've been the most amazing thing ever.
For two weeks I was telling all my friends how bummed I was about the situation, until...

Two weeks later the guy decides to message me again. He's like "I didn't feel like it was appropriate to text you after that "almost dumping you by accident"." I was like what the hell, but so happy he decided to talk to me again. Although it was a red flag that he had disappeared and come back to life.

After a few days from that, I got a random text from him saying "do you have any plans for tonight?". I was shocked because he didn't seem like he wanted to see me at all. I replied "I'm hanging out with my friend but nothing special for the night.. why?"
He suggested we would go out for a coffee. I was thrilled.

We met and oh boy... it was like we had known each other for a lifetime. I seriously thought that. We just talked for 2,5 hours over coffee.
It was seriously so amazing.

We hang out maybe like 5 times and had so much fun because our humor is basically the same. We have lots of common interests and..

I feel so stupid writing this.
I'll just cut the crap.

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After seeing him for like 3 weeks, talking altogether for 2 months, he disappeared.
I sent him a message and he never replied to me. He didn't even read it until two weeks after me sending it. And still didn't reply.

I was like - what the fuck just happened? I was seriously heartbroken. It feels so stupid, I didn't basically even know the guy!!! We had been seeing each other just a couple times. And still I felt like I had lost the love of my life. Like what the hell? How do you fall for someone that fast?

It has taken me fucking 2 months to get over it. I don't know what happened to the guy. I actually saw him at a bus one night and he saw me but I just turned away.

How is it so hard to get over something that didn't really even start in the first place? How do you get over someone you never really actually dated?

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This was actually an excellent reminder for me that in the end of the day you are in this world by yourself.
No one else should provide you happiness except you.
Of course when the time is right, you'll find love and it'll be the most amazing thing ever.
But for now, as a 20-year-old, I think it's time for me to truly learn how to live by myself and love myself.

I've been so bitter about this thing that happened to me.
But I don't have the energy for that anymore.

I want to start fresh.

So thank you Jack for ghosting me. Seriously.
It was such a good learning experience for me and maybe next time I'll be more careful with my heart.
I keep looking for you when I'm out in the city or going past the place you work at, but when I see you, you'll be like a stranger to me. I won't feel a thing when I look at you. Because clearly I thought I knew you - but turns out I didn't at all.

You'll see me becoming the best version of myself and maybe, hopefully one day you will think that man, I fucked it all up and now I want to get her back.
And by then it's far too late.