I feel tired and stretched.
It is mostly my fault, since I firs let people into my life, and then can´t find neither time nor energy to see them. often I feel like I don´t even bother to find the time and energy. why would I? they are all just human beings being used by me, which seems fair, as i feel used more than often.
I´m not sure why I let them in in the first place.
It´s almost like there´s this consumerism of people, and those initial small, happy moments with them, with nothing real ever coming out of the encounters.
and maybe this is why it feels so nice to just be all alone. To wander off, in my own thoughts, into the mist and darkness and just stay there for a little while, thinking that I will come out smarter, happier, more at peace. but it is the inner peace I need to find, we all do, but I just don´t know how to find it or where to look for it.