girl, smile, and laugh image

How does youth vanish? When does it happen? When is the moment we are grown up? From what point onwards are we considered adults?

child beauty

When I was young, a child of nine or ten years, I could laugh so hard that the air magically disappeared from my lungs so that I could hardly breathe. I was capable to feel no pain while I was laughing and forgetting everything around me.

Although quite clear in my memories, I can not pin down this feeling. It’s there, but always out of reach. Accessible while inaccessible. It’s like watching a film or looking at an old photograph of yourself, but you can not recognise yourself because you’re no longer that person. Maybe this is the reason why I can not feel this kind of joy, this fulfilling, all-embracing and deep joy I felt when I was young. I am no longer that unconcerned little kid.

Now I know how reckless life can be. Now I know how hard it is to make decisions. Now I know of consequences, I know of the effect of everything on everything. Now I know of responsibility.

child girl smile child