*currently listening to: hit this hard by post malone*

quotes, Dream, and fear image

Confessions of an Anxious Almost 16-Year-Old

It is currently two in the morning and I have yet to apply my acne ridding creams and whatnots. Not that I'm normally asleep by now but tonight I have a lot on my mind.

Tomorrow I start Segment 2 of Driver's Ed and I have no idea what to expect and the mystery of it, mixed with my horrible driving is putting me on edge. Okay, maybe I'm not the worst driver in the world but I'm not good either. And after taking Segment 2 I'm taking the Drivers' Test. Which is nerve wracking as fuck because I don't have the confidence I need right now to push through it.

My mind keeps going through different scenarios of what could happen and none of them are good.

I suppose this is something that one prays about.

Buddha, budha, and gif image

I'm going to try to think about only positive scenarios and see how the first day goes and maybe practice a little bit more before the test.

What This Taught Me About Myself

This whole experience has shown me that, I don't do well in new situations and that I'm irrationally afraid of failure.

Most say, that failure betters a person but It'd be great if we could skip the failing part to get straight to the betterment.

Sadly, that shortcut has yet to exist.

I always thought I was flexible when it came to new things but this has shown me a lot.

I'm starting to think that part of the problem is that if I fail my Drivers' Test then my parents would be upset, I'd have to walk fifteen minutes to school every day, and because this is a step in really growing up and taking on responsibility.

I don't know guys.

The Wrap-Up

The truly sad part is one day I'll look back and laugh at how much of a big deal I made this but I suppose that's part of life.

Well, this was interesting, toodles.

bye, gif, and meme image