Its not easy to smile
So many emotions like
Hope and fear and desperation and denial
When you cant sleep and the thoughts eat away at you
Wondering what was, what could have been
What is and what will come to pass
Every waking minute struggling with thoughts so hostile
No, with thoughts like those
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
Walking down the street head held high
And people stare with eyes that will defile
Every fiber of your being without a second thought, a second look
Or a second chance
Hungry eyes devouring, ravaging and vile
No, with eyes like those
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
Being pushed around and bruised and beaten down
Not fighting back, that's all him and not your style
Mentally and physically and verbally destroyed beyond repair
You're broken
Inside and out, but you love and love hurts and
all you want is to reconcile
But no, with someone like him
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
Among the stares and whispers
And taunts and jeers, meanwhile
You go about your business with burning eyes from tears
Held back for too long and a heart beating too fast for its own good
It hurts
Like they're the judge and jury and life is a trial
No, with people so terrible
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
Coming home to whisky bottles in a pile
Holding nothing now but your misery
And a tearstained pillow from long nights spent
Alone in the dark mourning things not worthwhile
No, after nights like those
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
Staring at the empty pill bottle
Cupping your salvation in your hands, so close
Enough to render you immobile
For good, thats what they want right?
Thats what you want
And a note, written in a writing style
Thats not your own, you've never shown that much emotion
You didn't think they'd care after all
No, after a choice like that
Its not easy to smile
Its not easy to smile
And say you're fine and well
But we do it anyway