august 25, 2017

i was excited. i was supposed to see you the next day. i hadn't seen you in two weeks.
we almost broke up three times the first week. but i begged you to stay. to at least try and make it work. i was stupid to do that. we were okay the second week.

you said over snapchat "idk if you should come over tomorrow."
that's how it began. my heart pounded. you could actually see my heart thumping so hard. that has never happened before. maybe because i knew this was it. i begged you to stay again. you said "i want to be in a relationship where i can see each other more than once a week."
how could you blame me for going to a different school?
i was done. tired. defeated. i realized that i didn't want to try and keep you with me anymore. "fine. lets break up. im so tired of begging you to stay when you don't even want to try. it's so nice to break up over SNAPCHAT." i said.
we continued snapping pics to each other. we said we'd still be friends.
i hope you are miserable. i know you are. but i am more relieved and happy than ive been in months. i snapped pictures of me smiling. and they were genuine smiles. you got mad and asked why i was smiling so much. i lied and said that i was watching something funny. i wish i hadn't.

i don't know if i actually loved you, i'd like to think i did. im over you just over two days. maybe i didn't love you.
-the girl