I honestly don't know how to get it into words. I think when I can't explain how I feel, I tend to turn to others describing what I think I feel. Today I'm turning to Blair Waldorf, Queen of the Upper East Side, who, in season 4 episode 1, says this;

They say it's a broken heart but I hurt in my whole body
Blair Waldorf

Heartbreak is a funny thing, because you can feel absolutely fine, and have a great day, where everything is going fine, and the clock hits 12.33 AM and then suddenly you just steering into a wall feeling your body physically hurting. There are absolutely no warnings for when the heartbreak will hurt.

gossip girl, blair, and quote image
"I will never not love Gossip Girl" - Me

I know that someday I will be fine, but right now everything hurts like hell, and I don't know what to do. I tell everyone that I'm fine with my decision but deep down I know that I would rather answer to his last message. I feel so pathetic for feeling the way I do, but I don't think running from my feelings will make it any better, I tried that the last time around and I ended up crying myself to sleep to Chainsaw by Nick Jonas

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And here I am, one night before the biggest adventure of my life, and I write about this boy who, I know, doesn't deserve me and all I feel is hurt. Am I angry? Yes. Am I tired of him? Yes. Do I love him? I try not to. But most of all am I sad? more than anything else.

This collection was made shortly after I met him, so it contains the ups and the downs and anything in between.

Here's to broken hearts and new adventures!
xoxo G