yeah, hi. i'm astrid. but you probably already know that. i don't know why i'm writing this, but it's probably because i really like this new article thing. and because i'm feeling inspired.

so yeah. my name is astrid, and i'm fourteen years old, fifteen in october actually. i live in norway, and i actually like it here. i'm not really anything special, i'm just me. i dance, hip hop, actually, and i really like books- no, that's an understatement. i love books, with all my heart. i also love music, and i really like poetry and photography. even though the poetry part is not really something i tell people. mainly because, around where i live, people think makeup and all that stuff is more important than literature. i don't know how to do makeup. i tried once, but i managed to stab myself in the eye with the mascara brush, and got a huge lump of mascara on my eyeball, and since then i haven't really made the effort to actually try again. but that's okay, i actually like my face without makeup, at least most of the time. i think? i don't really know, i guess so.

i actually am very happy with my own body, and that is a good thing, i'm happy about that. even though i sometimes cry in the fitting room because i don't feel pretty enough, i do actually feel good about myself, i'm just a very emotional person. i think the issues i actually have with myself, are with my personality. you know, overthinking, feeling like i'm annoying, regretting saying stuff, etc. you know what i mean. and sometimes i feel kinda lonely. cause i have friends, lots of them, but i'm an introvert. and so, i don't really get asked out on stuff and all that, idk why, maybe people don't like me that much? perhaps people think i'm a bitch because i'm smart.

yeah, i get good grades, but i don't wanna brag about it. i only tell you this, because i think it affects how people think about me. yeah, that's kinda sad. but it's true. and how do i know that, you may think. it's very simple actually. i know that, because people have told me. yeah? right? that's a nice comment to get. "oh, i thought you were gonna be a judgmental bitch," and then i say, "what? why?" and then they say, "oh well, you know, cause you're smart and all that?" to be honest, i couldn't care less what your grades were. but i guess that's just how it is.

i also feel kinda numb sometimes, is that weird for me to say? i don't really know how to explain it, i just feel kinda empty sometimes, like i'm not really feeling anything. and that's weird, cause i am, as mentioned earlier, a very emotional person. and so i don't really know what's going on with that, but i know that i feel well now, i guess it comes in periods in a way, kind of. i'm also the kind of person who says sorry a lot, even though i know i shouldn't. it's just a part of who i am, i suppose, apologizing for things that are not really my fault, just because i want everything to be okay.

by the way, i'm reading milk and honey by rupi kaur at the moment, and it's amazing. you should pick it up, i'm just saying.