does it really worth your time spent over one person? what does that human has in them that make us feel so attracted to them?
why do they tire us so much? should we listen to the third voices that say to let go? should we let go? should we continue holding on or come to terms with the fact this whole situation is a waste of time and energy?
As hard as it is seems no one can help us make that decision or perhaps make us look at it from a different angle. No one is willing to understand these emotions for the reason being that we only feel these emotions. For us this human/ object/ whatever may be our world whereas for someone else may be worthless...
Why do we try so hard to impress the other with advanced vocabulary and innovated ideas and beliefs? so that we can seem like we are better than others? But still it's tiring to be the person who always is there. Fighting for a case that others might consider as closed. Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting for the both of us and it exhausts me more than everything. I feel drained. It's like I'm breaking a wall made of bricks and yet I'm finding a wall made of steel in front of me. I'm trying. I'm trying so damn hard for you. I'm trying so hard to love you. To make you feel comfortable. Wanted. Loved. I don't know if its worth the shot and I don't care to be honest. I just want to be there for you.
I hate it when we fight. I don't want it. You are the only person that I have fought so much with. But the only reason I go against you and we fight over and over is because you matter to me. You came in a dark time and from the first time we talked I just felt like I needed you in my life. You were different. Besides the fact that I argue with you means that I care if I didn't care I would just let your words slip out off my attention..
I just vented my feelings out. But that's not for you or your attention. You may not even read this. And I hope you won't. I did this for myself. To let my inner feelings out. Or a small part of it. Either way i just hope you never read this..