The lover of my life has finally gone away. I feel like we have a connection but I don't know if he feels the same. It would be beautiful if he actually talked to me or if I talked to him but whatever. I've been wondering on how it would be without him.  I've been thinking about it a lot and it's making me sad. I don't like anyone but him and I never will... Everytime I see him or think about him it makes me smile. I haven't actually talked to him but if I ever did I would get too nervous. It's the end of the year and he's gonna be gone and live his life. I could be friends with him but that would hurt me to much. How can someone be friends with a guy that they like and not be hurt like come on. In movies it seems so easy for girls to get guys I guess, but that's just a fairy tale. I waiting for the perfect guy which is the one I'm talking about of course, and it's not gonna happen. If I only had the courage to go up and talk to him then every thing would be alright.  I'm shy and I get really really nervous so the idea of that happening is dead. But with him I feel that wouldn't possibly happen because he's so darn cute. Well alright I'm going to stop talking about my crush and go onto a new conversation.Highschool is so great for other people but for me it  kind of sucks at least here. Don't get me wrong I love the friends I made and the new teachers I have well at least some. I think freshman  year is where I've ruin it for myself. Especially with  2 people that ruin the most for me.  I hated last year so much like I can go on and on but I won't.  Well I'm done for now maybe sometimes I should do this more often it makes me feel better.