hellos and goodbyes. to many to count in a life time. hours and days. those are the things you can count. even up to the very last millisecond. estimated time of death. flatline. a red line .that is no lie. death. those are the goodbyes you will remember. they may even haunt you forever. and yes, there will be hellos that you will remember for the rest of your life. ones you may regret. you'll wish you never crossed eyes with someone.
because of two reasons. one, they made your life more like a living hell. rather than heaven on earth. or two, they were heaven on earth but, fate
had a different plan. it broke your heart. shattered it. and those will be the goodbyes you wish never happened. people come and go. all throughout life. sometimes we don't know the importance of them until they are long gone. others you know immediately. some bring questions. questions you can't answer. they leave you confused. unfocused. these are the questions you throw things over. punch a wall. scream. cry your self to sleep kind of questions. because you know no matter what you decided to do. you will regret it. hate yourself for it. it won't be fair for the other person either. you will be less than one hundred percent into it. you will never stop questioning yourself. it will eat you alive until the one thing you have left it to break their heart. along with yours. it's not wrong. it's not right. it's fucked up.

so, hellos and goodbyes. it's bullshit

it's just a life full of heart ache