I'm heavy. It's hard to admit, but I am. Maybe I'm heavy because I have heavy bones or maybe I really just have more fat on me. It's an insecurity I have, that society set for me science I was little.

I find it so fucking hard to love myself. Probably the hardest and most important thing I'm trying to learn. It's hard when you're surrounded by girls with literally “the perfect body”. It's hard to look at myself and try not to cover up, because my legs are too fat or my waist isn't skinny enough. When will I be enough? The answer is never- just like almost every teen in today's society, I'll strive for the ''perfect body'' that I see online, but the truth is, I will never reach it, because simply it doesn't exist.

My mum told me to think this way: I might not have her perfectly skinny legs but does she have my blue eyes- no. We all want things that we don't have, in our society we will never be good enough- and that's pretty fucked up.

The thing is that I have good days when it come to my self confidence, sometimes I like myself, but when it comes to my body, some days I just don't hate it as much as others. My point is, I've never had a day when I was completely happy with it. I've never had a day when I've liked my stretch marks, my big thighs, my not so flat stomach...I've never had a day when I just fucking liked my body. And really I should love myself. The body that i despise so much, keeps me alive. It keeps me moving, breathing, living...

I'm so angry for letting myself feel "not good enough" all the time.

This is more of an open letter, rather than an article. There's no ''main point to it'', just me and my messy head.

Love,
ana.