Hi everyone!
If you clicked to read this article I'm glad you did.
So first thing: this article will be about a fanfic I wrote a couple years ago called Burn as you can see. And I'll post an excerpt from the story. Why? Because I never really got the chance to publish this part and I want to share it with all of you since it's important to me. I just hope you enjoy it.

Go to my profile and you can find two collections dedicated to this fanfic: ⓑⓤⓡⓝ 🔥 and ❝Ashley Benson & Harry Styles❞.




CAST (only in this excerpt)

Ashley Benson as Sky Parker
Harry Styles as Harry
Marcel as Marcel
Liam Payne as Liam Parker




“Why do you think I need protection?” - I questioned for the second time already losing my mind.

He took a look at me. His eyes were red trying not to cry or because his nerves were so close to explode. I am not better either but I need to be strong and stand still. I need to know the truth from him. His mouth should be the one spilling the words I have to hear. Finally he opens his mouth but no sound comes out.

“Sky… I don't… Let me explain...” - he's struggling between words.

I don't say anything at all. I wanna see how far this can go. I have the necessity to know how far his lies can go forward. I've been so blind all this time, being so naive thinking he could really change… I was fooling myself and I should be ashamed of that but in fact I am not. You know why? Because I am a woman and I have the right to make my own mistakes too. And I am not a bit embarrassed because I know how to deal with this and how to improve myself after this. I have been lied to so many times and I'm over it. I always hated lying or being lied to since I was a little girl. I have always been down to earth and that's what makes me a realistic person. But just because I am used to being lied to that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore.

“Just look at yourself.” - I say to him. - “You can't even say the truth out loud even though I already know it.” - I bite my tongue so the tears don't fall. - “You're a coward.”

That's what he really is. It aches saying these words but he deserves them. But right now I don't want to degrade him in any kind of way, what I really want it's to make him see I am no longer the girl who apologizes everything.

“Why can't you say the truth?” - I yell this time and he flinches.

“Because I am a coward just like you said!” - he says out loud almost screaming. - “I knew you since the beginning. I didn't loved you in first place and I took advantage of my position. I took you for granted. I was an asshole.” - his words don't affect me and he proceeds. - “I met your mother and she asked me to find you. And when she showed me that picture I saw it. You were the girl that confronted me because of Marcel. I have found you.” - he says calmly. - “I didn't told her right away. I waited because I needed to be sure. That's the reason why I started messing with you in first place.” - he finally admits what I wanted him to say.

He takes a deep breath just like me and we look into each others eyes like the world it's about to end in this very second. But we both know that something is going to end... but it's not the world.

“And that's why I never wanted to become public with our relationship.” - he empathizes the word like it is a bad thing. - “But after you were gone I realized what I have lost. I thought I was only doing my job, pretending I liked you and everything but…” - he stops mid-sentence.

“But what?” - my voice comes out raspy like I am in the middle of the desert and need desperately a glass of water. - “Finish or I am leaving.”

My threat makes his green eyes glance at me. His face twitches like he is in a lot of pain. If he doesn't finish the sentence I am leaving for sure without another word. It's when I start to move that he decides to speak.

“Wait.” - his tone is so calm but yet so afraid that I stand still.

I can't look at him no more. It hurts. It's so painful to look in the eyes of the person you love the most knowing you were nothing to him when he was everything to you.

“But then I realized I fell in love with you. And it was already to late to turn back. So I looked for you everywhere but you were nowhere to be found.” - he smiles to himself. - “And I found you eventually. I promised myself I would tell you the truth but instead I gave you a ring, a fucking ring for fuck sake.” - he curses and I bite my lip so I can control my emotions. - “Then I let things went to far and here we are.”

I am so close to tears, I can feel them coming as the words flow out of his lungs. I wish I could hug him and say everything will be okay from now on but I would be committing a huge mistake. It tears me apart only by looking at him. He looks so fragile and I feel so cold like a stone. I take a look at every little detail in the room except stare at him. I can't take this no more. I'm done with all the secrets, the lies, the disappointments. I know what I have to do and I have the courage to do it. I am just not really sure if I'm capable of doing this. One of the last things my mother told me before she passed away was: "Never depend on a man in your life. Live for yourself and be prepared to face the most ungrateful and non-easy things in life by your self. There is no prince charming to help you nor a hero to save you. You gotta be your own hero and save yourself. Don't take things for guaranteed. Don't let the world bring you down. Be confident and fight for whatever you think it's right. But never ever depend on a man".

A tear comes down my face and I wipe it immediately not because I don't want him to see it but because I should be happy. My mother died without any pain and she died happy because she had me and Liam by her side and that was enough. I will remember her always even though she wasn't the best mother in the world because clearly she wasn't. She was a woman who made the mistake of depending on a man too much and that destroyed her. I never got the chance to really know her entirely but the few months I got to spend with her I knew she had a lot of life lessons to give. I took them all without hesitation. Her mistakes are lessons I need to learn so I don't end up like her. She might never be the best mother but she was the best life living lesson I ever met.

And what I am about to do it will be a tribute for her and the right thing to do for me.

“Thank you for you honesty.” - I say, wiping another tear. - “But it came a little too late.”

His eyes meet mine. His are red and now I know he's trying hard not to cry. But I have to be strong and fearless. Because that's what I wanted to become all my life.

“And I can't do this with you anymore. In fact we can't keep doing this to one another and that's why we need to go our separate ways from now on.” - I swallow dry and look away.

If our minds could speak the rooms would be full of noise but since our mouths don't allow them to scream the room is silent.

“Sky...” - Harry tries to come near me but I take a step back.

He doesn't move and I breathe because I can't feel his touch or smell his breath. If I do it I know I will not be capable of ending what needs to be done. He was like a drug to me and I need to go on rehab. I need rehabilitation so I can stop depending on his love. Because being loved by him was the thing that made me go crazy. And now I gotta stay sane. I gotta heal alone.

“I am gonna let you go.” - I say and close my eyes. - “And you gotta let me go.”

He doesn't speak, he just stares at me with a painful look on his face.

“We are not good for each other anymore. We have become what we always tried avoid.” - I feel my heart beating too loud on my chest but I don't care. - “We bring the worst in one another and that's why we are better of separate. You need to understand it's over. Over.”

My head hurts so much but I have to be strong so I don't cry in front of him. We are a mess, we always were. Not the beautiful kind of mess. We were just an abstract painting that people couldn't understand but after all not even we understood ourselves. Realizing this took me a lot of time, more time that it should have took. But this wasn't a mistake, not at all. This was a relationship, a mutual consented relation. We shared our lives and we were together. Simple and complicated as that.

“I want you to stop fighting.” - he looks confused now and I continue. - “Fighting for me, for us. Because at the end you were only fighting against yourself thinking I would never notice because what you always wanted was for me to heal you.” - I take a deep breath and close my hands. - “But I haven't done much healing, right?” - the attempt of a smile crosses my face. - “Sorry. I am not apologizing because I was not capable of fixing you. I am apologizing because you were not able of fixing yourself with me by your side.”

Now I cry and I can see tears in his eyes as well. It is the first time I see Harry crying and I hope it's the last too. Seeing him suffer does not bring me power or makes me happy. But sometimes being able to feel pain makes you realize you are only a human being, a body with a soul. I know that because I have felt different kinds of pain throughout my life. And today I feel stronger because of that, because I had moments of weakness and disgrace. My life has never been easy but now I know why it should have happened the way it did. And I have no regrets. Not a single one.

“I'm going now.” - I say finally breaking the silence. - “Goodbye.”

Those are my last words. I walked out of the door without looking back. When I reached my car I could barely felt my own legs. I drove away from his house. He did exactly what I asked him to do, he didn't fight. I was not expecting him to ask me to stay by saying that we could work everything out. We were both aware that that can not be done, at least not right now. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt because it does. I feel like my heart was broke in a million pieces again. I know I did what was right but it feels so damn wrong somehow. I kept driving until I finally understood I had nowhere to go. I parked in some part of the town I never went to but I couldn't care less. It was over. Me and him, us. I should feel relieved but I feel so heavy. It's part of the healing. I know this emotions will go away eventually. But I am not prepared to let go yet. And that's when I know I love him. That I always have. And maybe I always will.

-- JudithTR