It’s hard to believe that you have that ‘’great’’ life again. When all your dreams are crashed and all your thoughts are very different from that damn beginning of hard life. I’m scared and blocked to believe that I’m beautiful because I can’t deal with negative comments anymore. I remember every single thought and every single tear falling gently on my face on my pillow full of tears. You can’t just say that my legs aren’t right. If I’m feeling good no one can judge my body, my stomach rolls or big tights. I’m not raised to hear those comments that I got fat since I stopped doing boxing or simply training. If I can’t handle all that, that’s just not fine for my mental health. It hurts mentally. I can just say I’m fine and I want to be but I’m not and I know that. I can’t control my feelings. If I want to lose weight or simply get fit I can do that by myself and no one can say those things like ‘’I have to do that/ I must do that’’. It’s my body, not yours. Why the word FAT is used about describing some ugly stuff, like everyone’s different and no one can be skinny enough, beautiful enough. We life our life not their and I respect my opinion. I’m done.