Okay, it isn't revolutionary. A high school girl (yes, I am a girl, and yes, I am in high school) has a crush on a boy. Gasp! The sky is falling, the world is ending, etc., etc. Obviously not. Crushes ain't nothin' new, but upon closer examination, a crush reveals more about myself (and maybe humans in general) that I wouldn't have imagined.

First: I am a big chicken. So maybe I didn't need a crush to tell me that, but IT SURE HELPED! I have literally never spoken to this boy and I sure don't plan on it! Sweaty palms (weak knees, heavy arms, haha) abound and stuttery words are sure to fumble their way through my lips if I even was in a position to say something, oh god, anything, to this boy. So I'll keep quiet and maybe make some flirty eye contact in the hallway (who am I kidding).

Second: I am not as deep as I like to think. Okay, this whole crush thing is scraping off my outer layer and revealing my superficiality. Obviously everyone is at least a little shallow, and my alter ego (Pause. I am currently assuming that #1, someone will read this, and that #2, someone reading this may also follow my luna gloom collection, in which I showcase and discuss my alter ego. Unpause.) is definitely more than a little shallow. But she ain't me, and I didn't think I was all that shallow until this boy came along. I have two main reasons for believing myself to be shallow. Firstly, whenever my friends had a crush, I liked to think myself all high and mighty. Oh, just go up and talk to him. Oh, why do you care what he thinks of you. Oh, how can you even like him when you don't know his stance on the growing crisis of global warming, or whatever the fuck. Anyways, high and mighty. And now, look at me! Reduced to a pathetic sweaty mess at the sight of a boy that I don't even talk to (and, as a result, don't know his opinion on global warming!). Am I a hypocrite. Well, this no-talking thing leads into reason number two for superficiality: I don't even know him. Like, yeah, we have one (1) class together but I don't talk to him, heaven forbid. So I really only like him because I think he's cute. Which, okay, hear me out, isn't a crime. But I seem to like him an awful lot for not knowing anything about him besides that his face is nice.

Third: I am deeply unflirty. So yeah, I don't know how to flirt. That was pretty much a given, since I don't TALK TO THE GUY. But I mean, come on. A little winking (is that still cool? the wink?) or smiling or SOMETHING is really past my limits????? The closest I've come is just straight up staring. Not sure if that's a turn-on or just creepy, but I'm doing my best here, guys. I do think I've seen him stare back once or twice but this could be just him staring off into space or just staring back at me purely out of spite.

Anyways, I told you at the beginning it would reveal truths about all of humankind, or whatever. But this probably isn't all that easy to relate to. So, again assuming that someone will actually read this, please help me. I'm struggling. I need to either start something (in which case, PLEASE HELP ME) or learn how to stop crushing. If you have any advice, send me a message! Or just say hi! Or tell me about your crush and we can dish together! Please. I am so lonely. Haha okay bye guys sorry for pretty much just talking for like ten paragraphs.

Cover Image credits to @casravenheart on WeHeartIt.