Hi, everyone!

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Today's little article is about appreciation. The appreciation of you. A couple of days ago i've seen a little badge next to my profile picture and i thought, oh, it's so cool, it must be because i write articles, and i thought everyone's gonna get one who's doing that, but then i didn't see anyone else having it and i was confused. But on the previous Sunday i got a message. A message from Weheartit, and it was about the little feather next to my picture. Basically they have started a program, called The Recognized Writers Program, and it's about them rewarding writers who make quality content that meets the values of WHI. So in every month, a group of talented writers will be surprised with this badge which is for life. And silly me i was reading it like, oh i wish one day i could be one of them, (yeah, i was reading it after an awful day and i was hella tired) then, i was scrolling down, where the first group of people's name was mentioned and i saw a picture, that was really familiar. And i needed a good one minute to realize, that, hey b*tch that is your drawing. Then tears bursted out of my eyes. And my mom was like, hey, hey what's wrong and i felt really funny and happy at the same time, 'cause in the twenty years of my life i've never cried because of happiness.( and trust me, i've cried a lot). So in that moment, honestly i was happier than ever in my life. And maybe for some people it would seems silly to be happy about such a thing like this, but it's a really big recognition for me, to be part of this group,especially the first group, and that people actually enjoy what i write about, and that is my goal in life, to help and make people happy. Well i've said it in a couple of my articles, that this year wasn't the easiest year of my life. I've been through my own personal hell, and now i can finally say that i almost got out of it, and i got myself back. And to be honest, i had more work put in it then in anything ever. This year i was in a constant battle with my mind, i had to postpone my university studies and get home to recover from something that is called myself. And it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. It will may sound funny after i'm gonna tell you that i'm majored in Psychology. But you have to know one thing about psychology students, we all have that something, that made us want to help on other people, every single one of us has a spike in our hearts that made us chose this field. And i made the mistake of going there before i tried to pull that spike out from there and that ended in me overcropping myself too much both physically and mentally to the point where my body told me you either slow down and stop what you're doing, and take your time to recover from yourself or i will not end up well.
So i did that. I postponed a complete year, and it turned out to be the most bittersweet year of my life, because on the road of recovery, now, at this moment, i can finally say that i found myself again after such a long time. But i didn't do it alone. I realized that i need help thankfully before it was too late. And as i will tell my teachers when in February i get back to uni if they ask where have i been, well, from the armchair i found myself sitting on the couch. And that was all i needed. The help of someone, someone, who had trust in me. Someone, without whom i would have may ended up in a psychiatry when i never belonged there, and he was joking around with me saying that yeah, you may end up there; but not as a patient, but a specialist. 'Cause those aren't the brave ones who afraid of nothing, but the ones who have problems and can face and try to solve them.
I will be forever grateful for what he did for me and actually he was the one who inspired me to write. Last year i started a blog, but i haven't written a word until this year. If you know me, i'm a self-taught artist, or at least i try to think that i am one, and art was always therapeutic for me. But i was so devastated and ( i won't use the word depressed, and i got this from an interview with Hayley Williams, and i deeply agreed with what she said about why she won't use that word) so i was in such darkness and physically so weak that i couldn't do a thing and wasn't in the mood to do anything. Then when i slowly realized that you need aims for which recovery is worth and i started to write down things, mostly feelings and stuff as a homework, then slowly it changed when my mind started to get better and i started to write on the blog. And i found so many joy in it, even though noone was reading it, i found joy in it, 'cause sometimes you don't need people to see what you do, if you're doing it for yourself to feel better it's as good as if lots of people see and like it. Then i realized that you can write articles here as well, and as i said, i was suffering with copyright issues, 'cause i couldn't use the amazing pictures from here, or anywhere from the internet that i wanted to use, and when i saw this new thing here, i was so happy, and i'm still so happy now, 'cause i have found WHI, god knows when, ( yeah, when i say stuff like this, i actually feel myself pretty old, even though i'm not) and i've been loving it since then, 'cause it's a creative platform for people like me, like you, like us, who love to be inspired and love to inspire and help people. 'Cause i always loved reading blogs and watching them on youtube, and listening to music and search through art, it was my little getaway, and i wanted to give back to people,i wanted to do the same that they did for me, i wanted to become someone like them, 'casue i got so many help from them when i had rough times, and whether it was just a nice chilled video, whether it was a picture, a song, even the smallest things can be those things that help you through the night or the next day. 'Cause sometimes small things mean bigger progress than the more spectacular ones.
Alright let's summarize what i was trying to say, basically i'm so happy that so many of you enjoy my articles and i got messages as well saying how much you like them, and i felt so happy,( i know it's such a platitudinous thing to say, but it really is true, if you went through hard stuff you know what i'm talking about) because if it helped one people and made his/her day better, or was a thing that makes him/her move forward and feel better, than my existence and recovery wasn't meaningless. And don't feel bad if you are not the type that can write or make any content, it's okay to only consume art etc., ofc it is,( it's one cause why we do it, ) because that is another thing that is just as much of a healing power, 'cause this is what i'm tryna say. You, who's reading this post of mine, you are a part of my recovery, my life, you help me to get through this and i'm trying to help you and it is the most beautiful thing in it that we vice-versa help each other and have a part in each other's life. I got no words, i can't describe what i'm trying to say; i hope you can understand what i'm tryna ramble about and what i'm feeling right now.
So, i was about to say this one last time, but surely and hopefully it's not the last time i'm saying this, thank you; thank you for being a part of my journey on this planet earth, thank you for helping me get through rough times, without you even knowing it, thank you..dear reader..from the bottom of my heart, thank you.. that you are supporting me, my soul and my art.

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Coverphoto by Courtney Hedger on Unsplash