Signs as minor inconveniences
Aries: Tossing trash at the garbage can and missing, then having to go pick it up
Taurus: When ice cream melts onto your hands and they get all sticky
Gemini: When you pour your cereal only to realize you're out of milk
Cancer: Slightly shifting your weight in bed and having your fitted sheets come undone
Leo: Burning your tongue on something when you're really hungry
Virgo: When your power goes out and your digital clocks all reset
Libra: Getting comfortable on the couch and then not being able to reach the remote
Scorpio: When your earbuds get caught and violently get yanked out of your ears
Sagittarius: Repeatedly misspelling your password
Capricorn: Having your arms full when you need to open a door
Aquarius: Walking down a hallway with squeaky shoes after coming in from the rain
Pisces: Walking into a room and forgetting what you were about to do

signs as sounds
aries - crackle of a fire
taurus - peacefully chirping birds
gemini - the sizzle opening a fizzy drink
cancer - rain hitting a window
leo - the voice of someone you love
virgo - crickets chirping
libra - wind chimes
scorpio - thunder
sagittarius - crunch of snow from your shoe
capricorn - grandfather clocks
aquarius - genuine laughter
pisces - naturally flowing water

The signs in a horror movie:
Aries: Questions everything and runs for their life
Taurus: Goes to the kitchen to grab a snack and never comes back
Gemini: Tries to lighten the mood with jokes but doesn't pay enough attention and gets left behind
Cancer: Cries in a corner till it's all over
Leo: Acts like they're not scared but freaks out when others are killed
Virgo: Is the killer.
Libra: Enlists one of their many boyfriends to save them
Scorpio: Finds the killer hot and flirts to their death
Sagittarius: Takes charge and uses common sense to get out
Capricorn: Makes bad choices and ends up accidentally killing themselves
Aquarius: Grabs the nearest knife and challenges the killer to a fight
Pisces: Hides in a closet and snapchats the whole thing

Existential Crisis
Over their identity: Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius
Over their past: Gemini, Aquarius, Scorpio
Over their future: Aries, Virgo, Libra
Over their existence: Pisces, Cancer, Capricorn

"ARE YOU MAD AT ME?"
Says no, but is actually mad: Cancer, Libra Pisces
Says no and isn't mad: Gemini, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Says yes: Aries, Taurus, Leo
Asks why would I be mad at you?: Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn

The signs when drunk
Aries: more relaxed and open than usual... like they'll actually tell you anything
Taurus: "You're drunk" "FUCK YOU"
Gemini: won't stop laughing and tells bad jokes that don't make sense, plus no train of thought whatsoever
Cancer: runs off often and needs to be constantly supervised by a friend
Leo: Busy vomiting somewhere
Virgo: "You guys are such lightweights honestly, keep up"
Libra: I'm not drinking tonight an hour later FUCK ME UP
Scorpio: their inner desires become hard to hide from those they love and can be read like a book
Sagittarius: buddies with everyone but suffers a hardcore hangover the next day
Capricorn: clearly drunk I'M NOT DRUNK YET!
Aquarius: just - keeps - going
Pisces: either roasting everyone hardcore or explaining how much they love them - no in between