I've been on WHI for several years now and have found so much comfort here. Even being in my mid-twenties, I still find myself spiralling back here every now and then. Never the one to add much content, though I feel compelled to convey the one message I've wanted to spread through WHI for a long time.

Mental health

In my late teen years, I've struggled with myself a lot. Episodes of darkness overtook me, feeling incomprehensibly sad and numb, empty and tired. I drowned it out as much as I could by focussing on school and occupying myself with reading, anime and the internet in general, including WHI. I built a wall to keep out friends and loved ones. For years, I went through extensive periods during which I felt lonely and unhappy, even though I had no rational reason to feel that way or not to that extent anyway.

Of course, people noticed. My family and boyfriend (yes, I'm shocked he put up with me, we're even engaged now) struggled to connect with me. Not wanting to tell them all that was going through my mind, afraid it would scare them away. I can see the irony of it now. However, I'm still not brave enough to voice to them exactly what I felt during those periods of darkness. For the rest of the world, I put on a mask.

depressing alone

The closest I've ever come to putting in words what I was feeling, was when I created my 'Inner demons' collection on WHI. I added and removed pictures to represent my state of mind. To be perfectly honest, it started out from a self-pity perspective, but has helped me to get a grasp on my thoughts as well. I felt out of control and WHI allowed me to regain some of it, to sort things out.

To counter my dark collection (this one is much bigger by the way).

Browsing through WHI, I quickly understood that I was not alone. From the looks of it, lots of other people were going through something similar. This was soothing in a way and eased my scaredness. Aside from the darker posts, the WHI-community felt like home in times when the real world didn't.

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The best advice I've received; to make the most of the moment.

I went to a therapist once, but that didn't work out. Probably it was just a bad fit. As time passed by, I figured out that to avoid dark episodes, structure was very important to me. Too much free time on my hands and I'd slip away. Gradually, I got better, felt stronger, safer in my own skin. I'm shaping my life and doing the things I love. And yes, learning to love again, yourself and others, wholeheartedly and without fear, is something you can do.

education Superthumb
This book helped me love myself again.

The purpose of sharing this is that someone will find the courage to reach out or will feel consoled, even if it's just a bit. I'm hoping that WHI can be a part of your healing process as it was for me. Also, on a selfish note, it's kind of cathartic for me. To move and be moved, I guess that's what WHI is all about.

If you're having a hard time, please know you are not alone, it does get better. You can overcome this, with help if you'll allow it or on your own, because you're strong like that. Just don't give up.

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