Standing alone in a corner of a corridor, looking towards the sky, thinking of all the possibilities of my life. The good and bad. The wind is so strong that it swiftly brushed off my head scarf that covered a partial of my face.

Am I happy working here?
Why do I lost so much weight?
Am I stress with the work environment or am I stress with the people that I'm working with?
Am I good enough in this company?
Am I well liked by my peers?

The constant questions that I do not wish to think, came abruptly inside my head. I realized that I have always been a thinker but never a good talker. And if I were to talk, I talk with so much of deep emotions which I wonder if people would understand the message that I'm sending across?

I am overly insecure person. The moment I saw and heard people whispering, my mind automatically thinks that I'm being talked about. And when I tried to brush off the thoughts, it never really goes away.

I am constantly worried. Worried about my mistakes that happened at work. I could push the worried feeling at the back of my mind but, it'll eventually came haunting me again at night and make me cry my heart out to sleep. I'll cry thinking of every stupid mistakes I've made and why am I so stupid.

Sometimes, I wonder why do I think so much? I also wonder if my brain is tired of all these thoughts hovering around my head? At times, I would purposely question myself and silently wait for either my heart or mind to answer if I am actually overthinking.

This is the thing about me. I do not trust anybody at work and hence, when I begin doubting myself, I would only rely on these 2 strong organs (heart and mind) in my body to answer me whenever I asked myself questions. Am I weird to be acting like this? No. In fact, I am just guarding my fragile self.