February 2017

Some months will be shorter as other months like this month and it's the shortest month in the year yaaaayy^^

So in the end of january I found Shawn Mendes and his songs (and they are so beautiful). One song is very special to me, it's called "Roses"

Please go and check it out:

If you want hear this while reading the articel.

This song has a special meaning to me because in this song Shawn is questioning his love for this girl.
In this month I was not questioning my love for him but I was questioning his love for me. Because I know he is hanging up with this girl everyday and not calling me or nothing just nothing.

So this part was special to me:

"But I got you this rose
And I need to know
Will you let it die or let it grow?
Die or let it go?"

The rose is the love we had and the part of "Will you let it die or let it grow" is for if he is willing to fight against this wall we build since december.
We talked and he told me that he wants to do someting for this relationship. But nothing happend from his side. We were just fighting again and again. After that I didn't text him, called him or something. Because why should I run after a boy who is not doing something for his relationship?
I kinda fell in this song how emotionally he sings so I was so touched I often started to cry because of this song.
This song is describing my situation, my feelings and how confused I was.

So I started gaming like almost everyday. Was kinda funny thoo but I "meet" a boy their and everytime we played together we had such cool and funny conversations that I could be happy for a short period of time. I was not actually meeting him the first time, it was a online friend from my boyfriend. I knowed him since july 2016 I think. He was part of our Overwarch Squad (we are 6 players and we met in reallife last year in september so I knowed him).
So I was started to spend my time more with him then with my boyfriend.