I'm good in understanding people, because they are just like me. I think and act like everyone else, maybe I even feel the same.
It doesn't matter how much I try to be different, to change, I can't.
Because I don't know what is different and what is same. Because I understand and I don't understand. Because I don't know myself. Because I don't really know anyone. I think and act, but I don't know how and why. I feel, but I don't know what.

The reason, why I don't know who I am, is because I don't know who I want to be.
Life is not about searching, it really is about creating yourself.

Why do I care about what others think? At the end, everyone just remembers what THEY did and not someone else. They judge they own actions, they forget everything else. Everyone is going to disappear anyway, so why do I care?

So who am I?
One thing I know about myself: I'm currently in the stage of changing. Changing to a better self.
I'm thinking more consciously, I think about the world, the universe, what is and what was and what could be. I think about what is the best for me.

I got interested in philosophy and physics. Unfortunately they are the majors with the smartest people in, and intelligence is the thing I struggle the most with, besides my communicative abilities. My insecurity got very bad when I got in a class where the most are so incredibly smart and I also want to be smart, I also want to be a genius in mathematics and physics, because they are my favorite subjects but I'm just not.

A few months ago I really hated myself. I thought I was dumb, I thought I was the only person who didn't have real friends. But I do have friends. I can have friends. My problem is just I'm really bad in communicating, I just don't know what to talk about, I rather think.


Okay I'm sorry for this, I just wrote down my thoughts, they are random and all over the place, so I'm really sorry if you wasted your time reading this. But maybe you didn't and you feel the same? Maybe I'm not the only lonely person on this earth who thinks they can't do anything and that everyone else is much smarter.

PS: Please tell me if there are any grammatical mistakes, English isn't my mother tongue.
I would also love to hear your opinion. The greatest thing about humans are their different opinions, so please share them :)