October forthcoming.
First yellow leaves on the ground.
A crisp poetry in the air.
We all know what this means, don't we?

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This autumn is really going to be magical.
First of all, because I'm finally free: high school was really making me go crazy and started to fear I was going to lose my passion for reading and writing, but college soon proved this is never going to happen. Now it's my responsibility to organize my studying throughout the semester, but the mere fact of having the possibility to do so, instead of being stressed by continuous and nonsense testing, really feels like breathing fresh air to me. Secondly, I study what I really love: literature. Despite my fears, I found myself reading Goethe's novels and Emily Dickinson's poems on the train on my way back home, and Schopenhauer's orientalistic philosophy late at night, in the common study-room of the boarding school. In fact, I also finally find the time to read and study extra things, and expand my interests.

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Thirdly, this autumn is going to be full of news: new experiences, new interests, new projects, new people. Living in the same building together with other 70-80 students more or less my age really feels exciting now. Although, I must admit, it wasn't rainbows all the time at first.

I already described how euphoric I was about this new experience and... Not that I regret it or condamn myself for being a person who gets excited a lot, but that's the point about my brain - it can go on hours daydreaming about every possible wonderful way things could go, but when it comes to the chance of negative ways.. My mind considers them something possible, in a way, but most unlikely to happen. Although I love being optimistic, I must say this should rather be called naivety, but I will maybe write later about my being an inveterate, even if aware, naive.

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(this last one was just to console my poor self a bit)

This all - again - was just to say that at first, things weren't really as I expected them to be - pardon, as the little dreamy unicorn inside my brain expected them to be. So the first few days I started having to face small difficulties, with college bureaucracy, with the actual realisation of my Zero Waste Lifestyle project, becoming friends with my roommates (which will so obviously take its time, I have no idea how I can be almost 19 and still having to repeat myself such things), making new friends at the courses and in the boarding school. I started feeling lonely, and 48 hours after leaving my town I realised I missed my friends, family, home and routine hugely more than I had expected. That, because I overthink about everything, easily led me to a sort of panic attack which made it quite complicated to calm down again and think rationally about the situation.

Also thanks to my best friends, who I immediately texted, I soon got over it and the morning after I was already laughing about how unavoidably fool I always turn out to be. In a couple of days, I challenged myself to be more open and to actively search for new friends, despite my quite shy character; and I think I already found a few. I started to explore the city and found out that, with a bit of creativity, it's never impossible to find a way to live (almost) zero waste, and I will write another article specifically on this topic in the next days. I started to organize myself, cook, clean, study, and go to the common room every evening where I discovered that there actually are other people in this boarding school - during the first few days I really saw nobody in the corridors - but that we won't have "organized" chances to be all together, so to say, until some common courses start next week. Older students are even organizing a sort of welcome-party for the new ones, altough it slightly feels like a plot against freshmen or something, to me.

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So all in all, to finally close this exagerately long article, I am again to be considered a living proof: since this dreamy, naive, absent-minded and shy girl managed to overcome the first obstacles and fears of living on her own for the first time, found a couple of new friends (and even identified another couple of potential more-than-friends), I swear you, young readers, can make it as well.

Cheers people. and dream bigger.

E.