Lately I've been feeling so horrible i cant really explain the feeling but i know its pure sadness i know i always smile but that's just for show, that's just to hide the pain. i'm losing myself i don't know how or why but i just am iv'e been feeling this way for the past 5 years are so and i really cant cope am. i don't have anyone to talk to or to tell if i tell my parents they might think i'm being ridiculous and i definitely cant talk to my friends because they never really take anything serious i hate this feeling sometimes i just want to cry but i know i'm strong and then when i really think about it that's when i really cry and then in the night that's when it really hits me cause i cant sleep and all i do is think,think,think. i'm slowly fading away.......