Hi.

You there.

You seem interested. Maybe you feel the same or just curious. Either way, I'm here to share a part of me that no one IRL knows about me. (not even my "friends")

Most of the time I feel like I'm the most important person in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I can do anything even just on my own. When I look at my reflection, I see so much beauty and power. But I keep this all to myself. When I am with other people I know how to blend in. I can sometimes be humble even with my achievements when inside of me is the fire of arrogance burning. Sadly, I sometimes see other people inferior to my abilities. I don't have many friends because I select them carefully like picking the best clothes. I don't even have best friends and that's probably the reason why I have so many social media accounts under different pseudo names because it's the only way I can express my inner thoughts. I'm a horrible person. Yes. What's surprising is that I'm the only one who actually knows it. If I get shot every time I mentally mock someone, I'd be in pieces now. I can't help it. I can't help feeling like I'm the best in all aspects.

I'm not proud of it, obviously.

Because of that part of me, I sometimes feel so fake. I feel like I'm a bad friend, daughter, sister, and overall a bad person. Even when I seem to recognize this problem, I never really was successful in solving it. (Believe me, I tried.) And then when reality strikes, I fall even harder down into the darkness. Whenever, I meet someone better than me I try so hard to improve on whatever it is just to be the best again. It wears me down and stresses me out. I feel like I am always competing with someone. (which I am) Then come those days that I feel the most useless person ever. I stare at my reflection and see nothing but ugliness. Then I realize, I'm alone. Even though I am so much in love with solitude, I can't deny I feel super lonely sometimes.

I'm a complete mess.

You shouldn't have read this. You came here for inspiration but I only gave you the ugliest piece of me. Sorry.