many don't like me and I'm in love with a boy that I can't date

I'm dead inside, how about you?

many call me rude and disrespectful, but I can justify my actions by saying that I'm just not fake

okay so apparently acting fake towards people in the only "sociably accepting" thing now. well how about I introduce myself before i begin to rant about how many people I 'very strongly dislike' since my mother advises that I not use the word 'hate' towards people even if I need it.

my name is Maya, (thats all I'm telling you about my name because even though no one likes me in real life and I'm guessing no one is going to notice me on here, I'd very much not like to be stalked and then murdered because I'm sure my parents would go to my funeral and say "I told you to stay off that darned social media"), I'm a teenager but I'm not that far along in teenager-ism, I'm totally useless lol, and I'm very crude and sarcastic person. Oh, also I'm not a people person

This brings me back to people calling me disrespectful names that yes I deserve, but that I'd rather not hear ten times a day. I mean sure I have friends, I've got my best friend, my school son, my...only straight friend that is a guy and that I'm like...in the 'L' word with, and of course I have acquaintances, people that I see a lot and are cool with and blah blah blah. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm a pretty okay person but the people that don't like me are the fake people that think I need to hide my opinions behind a mask.

I can say that sometimes I can be very overly rude and disrespectful but I try to keep my disrespectful levels to about a four.
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Everyone out here is dating and falling in love and I can only do one of those

so I know you may be saying "well you can date him you just don't want to try" well, that's not the whole reason why we aren't together.

The boy (who I will call Nameless) and I were in some type of weird relationship last year. we were basically dating but we never said that we were dating because I cant date until I turn...lets say 17. So our neighborhoods are beside each other with only a gas station in between, so we rode the same bus. I had known Nameless since 6th grade when he admitted he liked me and I said that I liked him, but due to my rudeness as a fresh young 6th grader (who only wanted to date a hot abercrombie model who was smart, sexy and my age) I told him that I liked him but there was no way we could ever date, because he wasn't (and still isn't) the sharpest knife on the block, if you're picking up what I'm putting down. So we barely spoke to each other until one day where I mustered up the courage to get his number.
So we began to start back liking each other and yata, yata, yata, but one day my father read my messages and called and threatened nameless. After this, nameless stopped talking to me.
I was sad of course and everything, and I had remembered his phone number by heart which means a lot when you're me and then summer came and I ran into him at the dentists office which was both a shock and a wake up call for me so I started back texting him and now we're friends but I still L-word him.

Hopefully you come back for the next installment on me being dead inside because I'm just getting started with my awkward life story.

Otaku shut-in out!!