The person who you thought loved you most made you feel as though you were worth nothing.

They use words that manipulate your train of thought. They make you think that you don't matter. They make you think they you're lucky that anyone has even said they loved you. And it works.

It destroys you.

After they're gone they leave a lasting impression on you.
You're never the same after that.

The aftermath that comes after situations like this are horrific because its all in your head. Its not like you can just forget about it, because its there. A doctor can't prescribe you medication and tell you you'll be healed within 3 weeks.

The person who hurt you like this knew how to twist your thoughts to hurt you in the most personal way. After being treated like that by someone you loved for so long and for them to leave you with that sort of mess in your mind rips you apart.

You feel betrayed.
You feel alone, permanently isolated from everyone. Even around other people.
You feel misunderstood. Even if someone understands.

Nothing feels right. You're scared to open up about the situation. You're scared that if you tell someone they'll try to justified what that person did to you instead of listening to you.

It's a constant battle between talking to someone about it but not wanting to seem like an attention whore.

That's a side affect of mental abuse.

You want help but you don't want to be judged.

That's a side affect of mental abuse.

You want help but you don't want to feel like you're bothering someone.

That's a side affect of mental abuse.

All this baggage you constantly carry with you about not wanting to offend or hurt or disturb or bother someone, your mind thinks like that because the last person who abused you made you feel like a bother, made you think what you do or say would annoy someone else, and made you think you're wrong because that is what they do. They gave you anxiety. they gave you stress. They injected that into your system. Its not you. Its what you were trained to do and think.

Because when you were in that relationship, anytime you did something your partner was there to make you feel worthless. They threatened you, harassed you, intimidated you, traumatized you. They hurt you in every psychological way. They hurt you to the point that before you say anything now you have to second guess yourself, because you are scared on how the other person might react.

You live in an unhealthy environment for so long you start to become unhealthy. Its not your fault, its the situation.

But because of the emotional abuse you end up blaming yourself instead of the person who did this.

Why?

Because in the mind of the emotionally abused, they ask themselves, "Why didn't I just not listen? Why didn't I just leave?"

But to everyone who has been emotionally abused, I must ask you this question:

Why did the person who abused you, abuse you?

They shouldn't have done it.

They said they loved you. Then they tricked you into thinking that emotional abuse is what a loving relationship is. You fell in love with them, and they said they loved you, so you made excuses for how they acted. They blinded you to the real situation at hand:

They messed with your emotions.

And I believe it is an absolute shame that people try to justify the people who have mentally abused others, or make emotional abuse seem like a not important topic. Because mental abuse is still abuse.

It's not always what you see, it is also what you hear. It's how a person is treated.

And I believe it is so crucial to remember that, especially because of the world we live in.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

All the love,

-m.c.

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